I love working out. I love to sweat. I love how strong I feel after completing a hardcore workout – like I can take on anything.
The problem is finding the time to work up a sweat.
To be honest, I took the time factor for granted in so many areas of my life before I had kids. But once the kids were here, life continues to roll on and something had to give. Working out was one of the first things to go.
I was an athlete. I guess I still am an athlete. My body is used to exercise and I find that it craves movement. Lately, the cravings have been so intense that I have decided that somehow, someway I must fit workouts into my schedule.
I keep a pretty detailed planner, so I sat down to search for time to exercise. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I would have to wake up at 4:30am in order to break a sweat the way I want to. It took even less time for me to know that this would be a bad idea. I have to work around people…and be nice…and be compassionate. I know myself well enough to know that if I got up at that hour I would not be fit to enter society. I would turn into a bear. I would be in shape, but I would be a bear nonetheless.
I greatly admire the men and women who are able to successfully wake up hours before the sun in order to workout. For a few days I did attempt to slowly adjust my morning schedule to see if I could legitimately wake up earlier.
This is how it went:
Day 1: Nah.
Day 2: The wind howled and sounded cold. I rolled over and stayed warm in bed. It didn’t seem to matter that I was going to workout indoors.
Day 3: I did wake up earlier, but I used that time to go to the bathroom by myself.
Day 4: The boys woke up early so I took care of them instead.
Day 5: Nope.
And that’s as far as that challenge went.
This never used to be a problem for me, but it was a problem in other ways. When I was younger, I would do whatever was necessary to get a workout in. I was obsessed, and in some ways things got a little scary. I was constantly practicing for sports, and then when I was done with my playing days I was terrified that I was going to gain weight so I determined that I would not become sedentary. I would get up and run before classes and then I would stop at the gym after classes in college. I knew exactly how many calories were going in and how many I was burning. There were days when it was all I could think about. Looking back, I firmly believe that I had a type of eating/exercising disorder. Through prayer and God’s grace, I have been able to break that cycle of negative thinking. But it has been nothing short of an uphill battle.
Determined to find a way to balance exercise with limited time, I have begun to do Pilates in the evenings while the boys are winding down. Usually after their bathtime and before bedtime, they like to watch TV. I let them enjoy a show and I get on the floor and run through a variety of movements that work my abs, thighs, and butt. The reality of this situation is that I am planking with a 4- and 2-year-old on my back. I am doing sit-ups with a toddler trying to crawl through my legs, and I am doing leg-lifts while trying to avoid kicking one or both of them in the face. But the fact of the matter is, I am doing it.
I recognize my need to take care of my body, but now I recognize how important it is to keep a balanced view of what is healthy and what is necessary. I am no longer training for anything, so attempting to do two-a-day workouts or beating myself up for missing a day of exercise because something suddenly came up just doesn’t make sense. What does make sense is coming up with creative ways to incorporate exercise into the life that I already live. I have found that summer is the best time to do this. I am naturally more energized this time of year and we are always outside. We have races in the backyard, I push and push and push the kids on the swings, and we love to go swimming. Would I love to be able to go out and run several miles every evening? Yes! But that just doesn’t coincide with my life at the moment. Someday, my kids will be able to handle themselves while I run, but today is not that day.
Today I must juggle the act of exercise with the more important job of motherhood. Right now, a sick child takes precedence over my abs. Catching up with my kids after a long day at work comes before a run. I know that choosing sleep over exercise in the morning is an excuse/cop-out, but most days it trumps Jillian Michael’s 30-day Shred. So I continue to balance things out by power-walking during my lunch break and doing strengthening exercises with the the ‘help’ of the kids in the evenings. I know that eventually I will find a lasting routine to work up a sweat and juggle all of my other responsibilities.