The Contents of My Purse Turn Me into MacGyver


Sometimes, when I notice the random collection of junk I carry around with me in my purse at all times, I realize that I could turn into the next MacGyver. As I dig through my purse to find my keys, I am given ample opportunity to see all that this bag is housing. After all, my keys will immediately dive to the bottom of my purse forcing me to overturn every last receipt in order to find them even if they are in there for two seconds.

My current MacGyver materials include:

  • Wallet (obviously) yet no money (also, obviously)
  • 17 cards, none of them credit cards but I am one punch away from a free treat at Sweet Frog. Score!
  • Repeat insurance cards. Every time I turn around our health insurance company is sending us new cards. I forget to purge the old ones, so I end up carrying around three different copies because I don’t remember which is the newest version of the card.
  • 3 Dunkin Donuts receipts. Mama runs on Dunkin.
  • $0.56 – all pennies
  • 2 linty mints
  • A diaper and one pair of toddler underwear. If I can avoid carrying a second bag, I’m going to do so.
  • Old school mp3 player with actual headphones, ear buds do not agree with my ears
  • 4 pens, various colors
  • 2 church bulletins
  • Hand lotion
  • 3 pairs of mismatched earrings
  • Checkbook that still has our old address on the checks
  • Bible, the actual book, not the phone app
  • Bible study book
  • Tissues, cannot tell if they have been used or not
  • Case for glasses
  • Another case for discreetly storing tampons and pads, also known as the first thing the kids pull out when rooting through my purse
  • 5 Band-Aids and 2 sample packs of ointment for cuts
  • Chapstick
  • A bottle opener. I did not know that I owned a bottle opener, let alone that I carried one around with me each day.
  • Texas Roadhouse gift card. Yessss!!!! Completely forgot about this, but my purse does not hold the free time and/or babysitter that would allow me to use this.
  • Lightning McQueen matchbox car. Taken from church unbeknownst to me by my son. I forget that it is in there each week until approximately ten minutes after we have pulled out of the church parking lot.
  • Erin Condren Life Planner. Helps with life organization, but clearly not purse organization.

Despite purging my purse every few weeks, this junk just creeps in there. It feels like I am carrying a ton of bricks, and frankly, I would not have been surprised if I would have found a brick in there. Like MacGyver, I don’t know how I am going to use these materials until I assess what is needed in the moment.

Kid cuts his knee at the playground? I can clean and bandage him.

Stumble upon a wishing fountain? I have 56 pennies for that.

Hankering for beer and steak? Apparently I can both pop the bottle and pay for the steak.  I’m not going to do that, but according to my purse the option exists.

Need some encouragement?  Let’s have an impromtu Bible study while treating ourselves to that free dish at Sweet Frog.

One thing is clear – whatever the need may be – I’m prepared.  The only thing I am missing is my sweet MacGyver mullet.

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