When they decided it was time to start a family, they were excited, as any husband and wife would be. It took a few months, but one day the pregnancy test was positive and the journey of parenthood had officially begun. Thrilled doesn’t even describe the way they felt!
A few weeks later, she began to spot. After arranging to see the doctor, their worst fears were confirmed – it was a miscarriage. There were a ton of questions going through their minds, namely “Why?” He was her rock and they leaned on each other. As Christians, they turned to God and found comfort in their faith.
Months past, and the holidays came and went. As spring was right around the corner, they found themselves expecting again! While there was fear after experiencing a previous miscarriage, they were excited and thankful for this precious child. During a trip to visit family, she began to spot. They went to an out-of-town hospital and were told that it was just spotting and to go home and rest. In her heart of hearts, she knew otherwise. She knew that they were losing another baby. It happened on almost the exact same timeline as their first child.
More questions arose and all they could do was pray. She was his rock and they leaned on each other and their Savior. While things were difficult, there was peace in knowing that their babies were together in Heaven – they were not alone and they were with their Heavenly Father.
Around this time, there was a special presentation at their church. A woman in the congregation spoke of a ministry she was involved in that promoted adoption. A seed was being planted in their hearts and minds. She did a little online research and kept the information she found in the back of her mind – the timing just wasn’t right. Summer had arrived and they were enjoying family vacations and time together.
At the end of summer, their third pregnancy test was positive. Of course, it was a mix of emotions – they were excited but had their guard up. They went to see a specialist and went through lab work and ultrasounds. She had begun to take progesterone before the third pregnancy in hopes that the hormones would help. Their doctors were amazing; they were incredibly supportive and didn’t bombard them with information. Everything was discussed and they felt that the doctors listened to their concerns and shared their feelings. It was important to them that they work with physicians who recognized that they lost children, not fetal tissue.
During an ultrasound, they discovered that the baby was not growing. She could tell a difference in the way she was feeling. It was as if the hormonal changes she had felt at the beginning of the pregnancy had vanished. They decided that they didn’t want a D & C, but would rather wait for the baby to miscarry naturally. This happened just shy of the end of her first trimester.
There are things in life that you just can’t explain. How can you explain how a family can experience the loss of three babies in one year? The Bible talks repeatedly about the ‘peace that passes understanding.’ God can give you peace in the midst of suffering and you just cannot explain it through any other reason than faith. This is what they were experiencing after they lost their third baby – a peace that can only come from God. They knew that their children’s lives had been in God’s hands all along. Where once there were many questions, it was now as if God was answering their questions without them having to ask. Through it all, God never, ever left their side.
The seed that had been planted in their hearts concerning adoption had been growing for quite some time. Suddenly, it seemed very clear to them what God was calling them to do. They began to do their research on which adoption agency they would go through. They knew that they wanted it to be an organization that would advocate for them and have conservative values that would line up with their own personal beliefs. After starting out with one agency, they eventually decided to go a different direction through the work of a family member. This new agency also ran a home for girls and women who were pregnant with nowhere else to go. The guidelines were strict, but throughout the application process they felt that the Christian beliefs of the organization aligned with their own faith. They went to seminars on adoption, met with other families, and finalized their personal profile. After their home studies were completed in April, the waiting game began.
It was a time of great hope and trust in the Lord. They felt very strongly that the path of adoption was right for them and knew that in God’s perfect timing everything would be revealed. Little did they know that God was also preparing the heart of girl several states away.
Five months had past and they hadn’t heard any news. Then one Friday night they were asked if a birth mother could view their profile. They were given some of her background information and after much prayer, decided it was all in God’s hands. They felt a peace about her viewing their personal album. Shortly thereafter, they were asked if they wanted to meet with this girl. It was typical for the girls and women to meet with several perspective families, but she only wanted to meet with them. Not only that, but as part of the process, they had to fill out a child acceptance form. The birth mother was also required to fill out the same form and all of their answers had to be an exact match. True to form, God came through and gave them that perfect match.
During this private and personal meeting with this girl, they realized that they wanted the same things for this precious baby. Their guard had been up because they had not been expecting such an immediate and surreal connection to be made on this day. Their hope was growing as they continued to communicate with one another in the weeks following their initial meeting.
God was showing them that it was okay to let Him take control. They understood that while God did not want to see them lose their three children, He could use these experiences to bring glory to His name if they allowed Him to do so.
A breath-takingly beautiful baby boy came into this world mere weeks before Christmas. There were some final things that needed to be worked out – rights had to be signed over, and other legalities were to be handled. All the while, the young girl knew she had found the parents for this precious boy.
They drove hours from home to meet this little one. When they were finally to meet their son, a type of ceremony was arranged by the agency. It was a private moment that they will never, ever forget. The emotions that spilled forth when their perfect boy was placed in their arms were unlike anything either of them had ever experienced. They had loved him before they met him, but the intense and overwhelming love they felt then and there could never be rivaled. This little one they had prayed for was finally here and he was undeniably theirs.
God’s direction in their life all made sense. At times when they didn’t know what was going on, God was pointing them to this moment. While no one would take the place of their children in Heaven, this baby was meant to be their own and was created for them. He would never be any less their child than the siblings that came before him or any that might arrive after him.
There was much rejoicing that Christmas, for there was much to be thankful for. It was a wonderful time filled with friends and family and a season they will always cherish.
After the holidays, they felt like they were settling into parenthood and were loving every minute of it. The joy of watching their son grow added to the contentment they felt as a family. When their baby was just about four months old, she began to feel a little different. Not necessarily in a bad way – just different. Sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your system, and like any new mom, she equated what she was feeling to that. Because these feelings persisted, she thought that maybe she should take a pregnancy test. It was positive.
Of course, all kinds of thoughts ran through their minds, but if God had taught them anything it was that He was in control and He would always take care of them. While the specialist they had seen before was still their OB/Gyn, they decided not to do all of the ‘extra’ stuff and they wanted to wait to tell anyone. They were soaking up every experience with their son and didn’t want to be worried about tests and lab work.
Weeks had gone by and a baby bump was beginning to appear. They knew it was time to see their doctor but they were nervous – when they had gone in the past they had always received heartbreaking news. The doctor gave them an ultrasound and it turns out that she was 3 1/2 weeks farther along than they had anticipated. Their baby was healthy and moving around like crazy! They waited a few more weeks and then shared the news with family and friends. Yet another reason to celebrate!
As the baby grew week by week, God was calming their fears and allowing them to live in the present. She felt great throughout the pregnancy and was able to keep up with her energetic boy. He was growing like a weed and was just the happiest baby you would ever want to be around. They felt truly blessed!
Less than a year after their first son arrived, they welcomed a second healthy baby boy into their family. In twelve short months, they went from husband and wife, to a family of four. God did not take the desire of their hearts lightly; they longed to be parents and He answered their prayers in a very real and mighty way. While God has enabled them to rejoice here on earth, their greatest rejoicing is yet to come when they will all be reunited one glorious day in Heaven!
**I want to thank my friends for allowing me to share their story in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month (October) and National Adoption Month (November). My friends’ testimony has been so powerful in my life; they are amazing parents and amazing people with such a heart for God and for others. All of this has reinforced to me that God is still very much in the business of answering prayers in a big-time way. Not only that, but their story has made me realize how often I underestimate what God is capable of doing. When we allow God to work in our lives, there is just no telling what He can accomplish in us and through us.
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